If they lived near the bay, they would be bagels.
Holiday Closures
In observance of the winter holidays, the City of Boulder is adjusting its operations schedules.
If they lived near the bay, they would be bagels.
To a mewseum.
A bulldozer.
Carrion.
Because it is the scenter.
Fsh.
It stole the show.
A robber duckie.
Owlgebra.
Tweetment.
Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?
Unhoppy!
French flies and a diet Croak.
Catch.
Six feet of barbed wire.
Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Odor in the court.
They raise a stink.
A clockatiel.
A walkie-talkie.
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
He was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"Wow!" the frog said, "That's wonderful! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."
To the retail store.
A watch dog.
Because they do not know the words.
To a crow bar.
She wanted to make a long-distance caw.
The librarian decided that the chickens wanted three books. She gave them the books and they walked out. Later, the chickens came back and said angrily,' Buuk Buuk BuKKOOK!' The librarian gave them three more books, and the chickens left. The two chickens returned in the early afternoon looking annoyed and said, 'Buuk Buuk Buuk Buuk Bukkooook!' The librarian gave them five books and decided to follow them. She followed them out to a park where she saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in the pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rred-it, Rred-it, Rred-it."
A walk.
The doctor asks, "What seems to be the problem?" And the lizard replies, "Well doctor... it's this thing that's hanging from my bottom."
A hare to the throne.
All his feathers are combed over to one side.
One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
He looked all around and finally saw a little brown snail sitting on the doormat. He picked up the snail and threw it across the street into a field. A month later, he again heard knocking on his door. He opened it again and no one was there. He looked all around, and he finally saw the little brown snail on the doormat.
The snail said, "Why the heck did you do that?"
Toad.
Feathers Day!
A feather bender.
A fowl ball.
To get to the other slide.
Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
A moo-done-it.
Bison!
Hot cross bunnies!
Put him in the front seat.
The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "He has a card up his sleeve," or "He has a dove in his pocket." One day the cruise ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and asked, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
So he will not be spotted.
If they dropped them, they would break.
I'm gneiss, so don't take me for granite.
He politely asked, "Hi! What are you up to there?"
"My goldfish died," replied the girl tearfully, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was amazed. "Isn't that an awfully big hole for a goldfish?"
The little girl tamped down the soil and replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
A rash of good luck.
A river.
Because there is always a PAIR a keets!
A palm tree!
With air brakes.
Night-rogen.
Because it was only a bluff.
A slug.
Do not fall for any old line.
An umbrella.
Squash.
Because it has so many mussels.
A yak.
Mosquitoes. They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide your attention, and multiply quickly.
Bug, you man me!
Where in earth have you been?
If this keeps up, my name will be mud.
A bee going backwards.
Mt. Everest.
Because their horns do not work.
If they walked on the floor, someone might step on them.
She was tired of living in a hole in the wall.